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[futhark]

"I'm not here right now. Just leave a message and I'll get back to you."



[ TEXT x VOICE x VIDEO x ACTION ]

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[boneofsword]

[Archer isn't going to say that loud. You're a hound after all.]

Heard that? [he casts a look at the dogs.] Out.

[All three dogs sigh in unison and leave with tails down.]

[futhark]

[ Impressive ]

Ah yes, the authority of the food bringer. [ He starts moving outside the kitchen ] Now if you excuse me, shower calls.

[ He didn't even get to use it after waking up because of your nagging message. ]

[boneofsword]

[When Caster is back from the shower breakfast is ready. As usual it's enough for two hungry Servants (which means enough for an army in human terms.) The dogs aren't anywhere in sight.

Archer is sitting at the table.]

Had a rough night?

[futhark]

[ This is not a breakfast, this is a feast. And it's clear from a spark in Caster's eyes that the effort is greatly appreciated ]

I've answered a follower's prayer that involved a party. It went looong into the night.

[ Which also included him losing clothes. Bachelorette's parties are wild, wild things ]

[boneofsword]

[Hey, Archer eats almost as much as Caster! They're both big eaters.]

A party, huh. Was it fun? [he asks with a small chuckle. Archer could guess that the prayer was the reason, given that he had seen Caster answering a bunch.]

[futhark]

Definitely fun, and it involved a quick lesson of modern dancing.

[ a beat ]

You probably should try it someday day

[ Having fun. Dancing, maybe. What is a morning without giving the broody shinki some shit about it ]

[boneofsword]

I can't dance.

[Archer may not remember, but he's quite sure his education lacked that part.]

So you decided to spend the night on the Near Shore?

[futhark]

That's what "lessons" are for.

[ His idea about dancing was very different until today ]

No, I somehow ended in Odin's temple. [ That "somehow" is there because it wasn't part of his original plan ]

[boneofsword]

[Archer notices the wording and starts getting a bit suspicious.]

Somehow you say.

[futhark]

[ Caster either doesn't notice or chooses to ignore the suspiciousness because he starts to eat- ]

Yeah, certain someone invited me to stay over.

[boneofsword]

And you couldn't refuse--

[Archer stops, narrowing his eyes. It suddenly clicks - he does remember the legend of Cú Chulainn and the various geiss placed upon him. Including the one where the said hero can't refuse offer of hospitality.]

You can't refuse because of the geiss, right?

[futhark]

[ Someone has done the homework it seems ]

Hospitality is a sacred thing, you know.

[ That's as close to an official "yes" as it gets ]

[boneofsword]

That's troublesome.

[Archer ponders with a frown. Of course there's no Grail War here, but such knowledge can be used to gain unfair advantage.

There may be a possible way to avoid such outcome.]

I have an offer to make - if anyone invites you to spend the night with them remember that my offer was first. So come home and sleep on my bed.

[futhark]

[ Aren't you moving fast Archer? Playing along this is almost becoming funny ]

You'd need to make that offer literally every day, and I'd have to abide it and kick you out of bed for a night.

[boneofsword]

[Too bad that Archer is being serious here.]

Bed is big enough for two. That, or I'll sleep on the floor.

[futhark]

Aw, you want to keep me home so much?

[ This is both teasing and a sort-of-honest question ]

[boneofsword]

Hm. [Archer's lips quirk into an almost-smile.] I'm offering you a way out of uncomfortable situation.

[futhark]

Huh. That's a really nice thought. [ See, he can appreciate your ideas sometimes. ]

Too bad you can't tell the future where such situation might happen. [ Cuz this one wasn't uncomfortable, oops ]

[boneofsword]

That means I have to offer it every morning. [It's said almost jokingly. Almost.]

[Bed may be comfortable enough, but Niles?]

[futhark]

[ That almost joking tone makes it impossible to tell if the offer is serious or not, so Caster replies in familiar fashion ]

You haven't considered one thing: it will limit my options.

[ Not that he's working hard to sleep around, but what if- ]

[boneofsword]

That depends which offer has more weight to you. But it's true, unless your geiss specifies what to choose if you get two offers of hospitality.

[Yes, Archer does seriously ponder.]

[futhark]

[ Caster doubts Archer offer works at all - since it's his temple technically, aka his own house. You can't get invited into your own house.

But he's not going to voice that. Seeing this guy get so serious about figuring out how to be helpful is kind of amusing. And nice. ]

With geis, you don't get to choose. You either follow it or not- and then it breaks.

[ And then it generally hurts, but ah, if Archer did so much research he knows that ]

[boneofsword]

[Archer actually knows that, and while it is Caster's temple he's invited to Archer's bed. So his offer circumvents that.]

What if you have two offers of hospitality and can follow only one?

[futhark]

I dunno, that never really happened before. [ He scratches the nape of his neck ]

Either sleep part of the night in one place, and second part elsewhere. Or break one of the promises.

[ and thus break the geis ]

[boneofsword]

So it won't really work.

[Have a disappointed sigh. Archer really hoped it's going to work.]

Unless you're fine with spending most of the night in the bed you prefer and teleport elsewhere when you wake up.